Tag Archives: first time mum

Post-natal body image

Posted in Life, Mumma by

In a couple weeks time, I have the honour of being an attendant in a wedding party. Just over 5 months ago, I gave birth to my first baby. These two life events occurring around the same time has given me great insight into the relationship I have with my body, and (more interestingly) how that has changed.

When shopping for my dress for the wedding, I answered questions like “Do you love it?”, “How does it make you feel?”, “Do you feel fabulous in it?”. All valid questions when you’re dress hunting for such an occasion. But as I searched for positive answers, I realised that in reality I don’t feel fabulous in a fancy dress. Getting dressed up and feeling ‘pretty’ just isn’t the same anymore.

Before you start the pity party for my seemingly lack of self esteem, let me be clear — my self esteem has never been healthier, and this is why:

For 40 weeks and 4 days last year, my body was invaded by a growing human being. I had the privilege of watching my body completely succumb to a new purpose and agenda. I grew a custom-made organ designed for the sole purpose of sustaining this new life, made extra blood and lots of fluid, my uterus expanded, my skin stretched, and in the end, I pushed a small person out through a reasonably small exit!

If that isn’t beautiful and worthy of respect, I don’t know what is!

Pregnancy, for me, was a beautiful, challenging, insightful, humbling, fun, and exhausting experience and I will never be the same again – both physically and emotionally. My boobs might never go back to their original cup size and my tummy might never loose that extra bit of flab, but my heart will never not love as fiercely and unconditionally as it does now that I am a mum.

Letting go of the ‘cosmetic’ relationship I had with my body and its appearance was my first real lesson in true beauty. Pregnancy is insanely wonderful and there is something profound in the miracle of what a womans body is capable of.

That is where I find the beauty in myself these days – in my purpose and my function. I look at myself in the mirror and see someone who grew another human inside her body and continues to sustain that person today. Y’see, almost 6 months into motherhood, my body still amazes me. I’m still breastfeeding my daughter full time, which means I am still 100% responsible for her nourishment. My body continues to work around the clock, in overdrive, to create what Macy needs to grow and be healthy.

When I look at my wardrobe today, I think about its suitability for breastfeeding (that is another skill in itself!), not what size I am. So while it’s nice to try on pretty dresses (and of course I can’t wait for the wedding in a couple weeks) my favourite outfit, the one I feel most beautiful in, is one that equips my body to fulfil its purpose and function.

Cosmetic beauty is temporary and skin deep.

Purposeful beauty is real.

 

 

 

 

Top 5 best & worst things people have said to this pregnant woman.

Posted in Life, Mumma by

Pregnancy is an insane journey, each week brings a new feeling, symptom, question, joy, adventure… One of the most interesting aspects of pregnancy is how the world around me has reacted…. and commented…. Some of it good, some of it not so good.

So let’s start with the bad ones. Here are the worst 5 comments I’ve received since being pregnant:

1. You look like a beached whale.
The person that made this comment is likely to read this, and they will know it was them I’m now quoting. It’s ok though. I told them it wasn’t a cool thing to say then I got over it. And we’re still friends. xx

2. Are you sure there’s only one?
Seriously?? C’mon people. You NEVER say that to a pregnant woman. And guess what, it was a medical professional that said this to me. #fail

3. Look how big you’re getting!IMG_6910
Instead of ‘big’ try using words like ‘grown’. Eg, “Look how much you’ve grown!” It sort of sounds the same but less about the size of my belly and more about the progress of the baby.

4. This is going to be the longest pregnancy ever.
Again, the person who said this might be reading this. Being my first pregnancy, there’s been a lot to process, a lot of physical/emotional changes, if I share a few of my struggles with you, don’t make me feel like I’m being a burden. #kthanksbye

5. An entire conversation about my pregnancy only.
There is more to me than just my uterus. As well as growing a human my interests include: working three jobs at two places, volunteering at church, singing, traveling, and coffee.

Now onto the good stuff! Here are the top 5 comments I’ve had:

1. You’re all belly.
Meant as a compliment in that I look like I haven’t put on any weight anywhere else. Lovely!

2. You really do look stunning!
I guess that pregnancy glow has finally kicked in, eh?

3. You make pregnancy look easy.
 Possibly my fave comment so far because it wasn’t about my appearance.

4. This is the most happy/at peace I’ve seen you.
It’s true. You’d think pregnancy would stress me, but it’s had the opposite effect. It’s put me in a place of complete surrender knowing that while I have responsibility here, I have little control over the future of this person that will soon call me “Mum”. Perspective is everything.

5. You’ve had such a stylish pregnancy.
This meant a lot to me because a) it came from a stylish friend that works in the fashion industry, and b) I struggled to find my pregnancy style at first and it’s hard to find good maternity clothes.

Above all, I know that 99% of people have good intentions and are never aware of when they say the wrong thing. I rarely get actually offended, but that’s just me. Others may be more sensitive. So let me encourage you, when talking to a pregnant woman:

1. Ask her about more than just the baby.
2. NEVER use the word ‘fat’. Even as a joke.
3. Say something NOT related to her appearance, and,
4. Remember every pregnancy is unique, there is no ‘standard size’.

JB xx

7 Honest Thoughts: Pregnancy

Posted in Life, Mumma by

C’mon, you knew this post was coming. I’m almost 25 weeks pregnant and of course I have a gazillion thoughts buzzing around my brain. So I’m putting finger-to-keyboard to share some of them with ya.

What a ride it’s been so far! It’s a whirlwind of emotions, symptoms, reactions… each day is different. One thing I’ve learned is that despite pregnancy being so common, (google tells me that at least 100,000,000 women are pregnant at any one time around the world) it’s also the most individual and personal experience for each expecting mother. (I find that pretty amazing, actually.)

1) I am not all consumed by my pregnancy – In fact, sometimes I forget… haha.. I could be sitting at my work desk, or on the couch at home, to just walking to get my morning coffee and still feel like my normal “pre-pregnant” self. That is, until Little Bigg kicks and I remember I have this growing belly slowly obstructing my view to my feet. Also, I still care about my work. At the start of the year (before we got pregnant) I was thinking about taking on more work, after being part time for about 18 months to recover from burnout. Obviously that plan has changed, or at least been put on hold for the time being. I have mixed feelings about that.

2) Stranger danger! What is this thing inside me?! Who the heck are you?! Some days I have never felt my personal space so invaded. (I can here all my mumma friends out there saying “Oh Jess, just wait until the baby is born…”) I mean, sure, it’s our child, it’s a part of us, we’re family, but it’s still it’s own person with an individual personality. Heck, I don’t even know what colour hair they have! (Although we are pretty sure it will have curls like mum & dad.) IMG_6762

3) In contrast to the above, I am also completely and truly in love with this being growing inside me. I can’t even begin to explain it. I can’t control it. My heart may explode when I first see it’s squishy face. The other day I didn’t it move as much as usual, which is normal, but I freaked out and was worried something bad had happened. Thankfully, Little Bigg moved when mumma asked and all was fine again. #passmethetissues

4) Stressing is pointless. I am responsible for what I eat, my daily routine, how much I exercise and how much I rest. But ultimately, I know that the days before me are out of my hands and stressing about every little thing is only going to be bad for both me and the baby. We live in a time where every symptom can be googled, there are SO MANY test you can have (if you want), but just because we can find out, does that mean we should? I’m keeping it simple: Eat well. Rest well. Listen to your body.

(A quick shout out to my Aussie Mumma’s Facebook group who are always there for me when I need answers to the little surprises along the way…. You ladies rock! #colostrum)

5) I won’t buy all the ‘gadgets’. But it’s pretty difficult to say no! Those marketing people, they are CLEVER. There is a product for EVERYTHING you could possibly need. Seriously. It’s crazy. But I’m pretty sure I don’t need half of it. I’m sticking with my usual philosophy: Live simply. Having less stuff = less time spent cleaning & organising, more time doing what matters. (Added bonus: it saves money too) Being a good mum doesn’t depend on how many baby things I own.

6) Sometimes I COMPLETELY FREAK OUT! What have we done? How will we do this? What kind of world will the baby grow up in? How will we afford this? Will I ever get any time to myself again?? HOW WILL I SURVIVE SLEEP DEPRIVATION??? Then I remember women have been doing this since the beginning of time and I don’t freak out as much.

7) Women are AMAZING. If you ever want your capacity tested, challenged or stretched, get pregnant. Did you know I can get dressed WHILE I’m vomiting?? #truestory. My body changes and adjusts to suit this growing baby on a daily basis, and yet I can still function (mostly) like a normal person and do every day stuff. Crazy. (I might add, I’m only new to this game and have had it pretty easy so far. I’m more amazed by women who deal with pregnancy AND have other kids AND work full time/run their own business/care for other loved ones etc etc. Woah!)

So what about the other mumma’s out there? What “honest thoughts” have you had?

Little Bigg's 12 weeks scan.

Little Bigg’s 12 weeks scan. ETA mid-October.