Tag Archives: hillsong

Checkpoint: Part two. Post Conference.

Posted in God, Life by

[Originally published 18th March 2014]

Last week I shared this post – part one of this checkpoint which is proving to be quite the turning point for me… 

There are some verses in Psalm 38 that reflect how I was feeling last week. Words like “my heart pounds, my strength fails me, even the light has gone from my eyes” (v10) described what life has often felt like in recent months. Prayers like v22-21, “Lord, don’t forsake me; don’t be far from me my God. Come quickly to help me, my Lord and my Saviour” were similar to what I carried on my heart as I arrived in Sydney for Colour Conference*.  

I can honestly say that there was definitely a specific agenda to my being in Sydney. After months of feeling ‘deactivated’, with no clarity, living with a posture in my spirit that could only be described as down-trodden, I heard words like “you will rise“, “you have permission“, “it is personal” and these three words that cut right to the core of me, “GET. BACK. UP.“

#woah.

I was also reminded that one of my strengths is how I pour myself into what I do and that’s OK – but – I need to guard my heart (Proverbs 4:23) and be mindful of what I’m pouring myself into. 

God could not have been more specific. 

So, what does that mean for me? Where to now? Naturally I returned home chewing on those questions and keen to debrief with a close friend and mentor. Which I did. (I love a good debrief!)

I believe now, that after a few months of rest and recovery, it’s clear the next big adventure is before me, and it’s time to get back up and go. Step one involves the launch of a new ministry organisation, “Access The Story” happening next Saturday, to which you are invited, and where you will find out more of the story and adventure ahead. 

My journey up to now hasn’t been easy, but it has shaped me, taught me and obviously led me to this point today, so in the end, I am grateful. 

I am grateful… 

… for the time I could spend in Sydney, with my awesome mum, in an atmosphere of encouragement, love, community and good teaching. 

… for the specific lessons, breaking the hold my past still had over me. 

… for the power in simply choosing to be grateful! (Go on, try it….) 

… for the sale the “Superdry” store had that meant I could come home with an awesome present for my husband, Darren. 😉 (Two hoodies for the price of one? Yes please!)

… for fresh revelation that through it all I am called to love relentlessly, just as I am loved first, because darkness trembles at a love like that. (And I wanna be the kind of person that makes darkness tremble…. Don’t you?) 

As usual, my weekend at Colour Conference did not disappoint, and I confess – I did buy a conference t-shirt… I will probably wear it twice and then promote it to the pajama’s drawer. #sawitcoming

J xx

Checkpoint: Part one. Pre-conference.

Posted in God, Life by

[Originally published 13th March 2014]

Here I am again. For about the 6th time, on the eve of another Colour Conference.

I’ve been known to share a few thoughts at times like these (check here and here links below) so I thought I’d keep with tradition. Only this time, I feel we might have a two-part series on our hands. (If it were a three-part  you could start calling me Pastor Jess… #christianhumour)

So as I sit in the Sydney airport, please indulge me as I take stock of where I’m at today, to be compared with where I will be on Monday.

Since last Colour (in 2012):

Some things have changed…..

1. My marital status. Unlike another pre-Colour post, this time I have bling on my left hand and a new surname. I wonder if this will change the lens I see this weekend through? Probably.

2. My work. Two years ago I was about to go full time in a ministry role I loved. Now, I’m part time in a couple different roles as I recover from burnout caused by the aforementioned role. #irony

3. My priorities. These days I care a lot less about the social aspect of the days before me and instead hope to get some space.

4. My clarity. I have none. Well, maybe a little bit. Certainly much less than I wish I had.

Some things are the same…

1. My pre-conference nerves. You would be the same if you were as introverted as me and were preparing to be in a room with 16,000+ other women. #somuchoestrogen

2. My anticipation. Every time I’ve been at Colour I have always come home with greater understanding, clarity (here’s hoping!), and passion for what I’m put on this earth to do.

3. My desire for shoe shopping. Enough said.

4. My mum is by my side. I do love me some quality mumma-daughter time. Will miss my sister though, who I also love doing conference with.

My hope for the next few days is that I find some space to mentally and spiritually stretch out, work through a few things in my head that are bugging me, eat some yummy Thai food and not buy any of the merchandise that I know deep down I don’t need.

Until Monday….

Jess xx

 

Taking stock… A 12 month checkpoint.

Posted in Fun, God, Life by

[Originally published 15th March 2012]

I am sitting in the Sydney Entertainment Centre surrounded by thousands and thousands of women. It’s that time of year, again. The time when I brave my fear of large crowds, let go of my Hillsong skepticism, forget about my work emails and bask in the beauty of sitting still, being one of the many, and learning. Its time to plug in and soak it up!

This time last year I wrote this blog… And what a 12 months it has been since then! For the third year in a row I am facing significant change in work and I am bringing it to colour conference to lay it down, seek guidance, receive peace, renewal and restoration of the heart as I brace myself for a new level. (And a busier workload… Again!!)

As always, I am thankful for the journey that is my life, but I am particularly thankful for these past few years especially. I believe I have grown more in this time than any other season in my 28 years of life. For the third year in a row, these few days in Sydney will be a ‘marker’ in my year that launch me into the growth that lies ahead. Bring it on, I say.

It makes me wonder, what will I be writing about this time next year?

(For the record, I was battling identity issues last year as a single woman. I dealt with that at last years conference and met my now-boyfriend, Darren, a few weeks later… God has a wicked sense of humour.)

Don’t box me in.

Posted in God by

[Originally published 20th December 2011]

I feel I should start with an admission… a confession.

At a younger age, I went through the “Hillsong-dream-phase”. I secretly wanted to be the next Darlene Zschech, a feeling that I admit contributed to me going to Bible College to study Music Ministry. But I grew up, I got over it, moved on, and don’t need to post inflammatory blogposts to vent about how it’s Hillsong’s fault that I once idolised Darlene.  If anyone is to blame for my Darlene-aspirations, it’s me. But I don’t think there’s much wrong with finding a role-model  in who was one of the best in the field I wanted to work in. Isn’t that just part of growing up? So that’s what I did – I grew up, realised there is more to ministry than writing the next big contemporary worship song, and more to church than four walls and flashy lights… and annual reports…

My friend Andrew recently posted a blog about the issue of Christian consumerism and the profit vs giving debate in mega-churches like Hillsong. A lot of what Andrew wrote is fair, and to give some context to what I’m about to write I encourage you to read it. However, since we are all entitled to our opinion, I’d like to respond. (Andrew is actually a personal friend of mine and we are not strangers to friendly debates over such matters. I am confident he will enjoy this… hehe)

I should start by saying that I don’t much care for the “Hillsong – profit vs giving” issue.

What I do care for is the assumption that we* are all like Hillsong, or want to be like them. Don’t box me in.

(*faith-filled Jesus freaks, aka the average Christian.)

I also care about the link between Christian consumerism and Jesus. Whatever is wrong with the “mega-church”, it’s not Christianity that is the problem. The heart of the Gospel is (as it has always been) about sacrificial love, the restoration of brokenness and the service of others. If this message has been warped or misunderstood along the way, it’s not Jesus’ fault. Humans are not perfect and sometimes we get it wrong. But just because some of us get it wrong, doesn’t meant we all do.

Don’t box me in.

On that point, while I often enjoy and appreciate the work of Banksy, I do find his image of Jesus offensive. Why? Because it’s not His fault. It falsely depicts that the cause of Christian consumerism to be rooted in Jesus and the cross. This is ridiculous. How can a man who willingly gave up his life, never owned much, didn’t search for fame, be at the heart of consumerism? #confusedface

I don’t believe that ‘in Churches, size matters’. In actual fact, size doesn’t matter at all. Furthermore, the ‘size’ of a ‘church’ is open to personal interpretation anyway. Big or small churches, what’s the difference? We’re all part of a global community of believers anyway – it’s up to you how you distinguish between the individual groups within the worldwide community. If you do that by dividing us into buildings with various signage that reads “Baptist”, “Lutheran”, “Uniting” or even “Pentecostal”, that’s your prerogative. I for one, don’t see the walls. I just see the people.

In a faith community this large, (I’m talking globally now) there’s bound to be differences when you break it down between the individual or smaller groups. But just because we all believe in the same God, please don’t assume we all aspire to be like the biggest, loudest, richest and best-dressed one of us. We don’t all aspire to be like Hillsong.

Don’t box me in.

I do, however, agree that the entire church should be the example of giving to the rest of the world. I also believe it should also be the example of love, acceptance, growth, truth, justice and everything else that Jesus lived and died for.

Dare I suggest that if you dared to dig a little deeper, or ask around, you will find a growing number of Christians that DON’T follow the Hillsong model, that care less for slick Sunday Services, great looking buildings and worship teams. I haven’t actually purchased a Hillsong album for a long time. The Christian faith DOES in fact thrive in people’s living rooms.

And it’s often these low-profile groups of believers that fund various works both locally and globally.

I can tell you about a gathering of hundreds of young Christians that regularly give of their time AND money to fund and participate in a project that protects, cares for, and celebrates teenagers in Adelaide. This same group of Christians are now responsible for an operation that aims to do the same thing in the heart of Adelaide’s city during peak night times on Saturdays.

This operation isn’t a “mega church”. But it is the church doing something pretty ‘mega’ in my eyes. The coolest part is that you won’t find this group of Christians in one particular building each Sunday. It’s scattered all over South Australia. It’s still church though… ‘cos “the church” is a movement of people. Not a building.

Don’t box me in.

There may be some problems with how mega churches do what they do, but they are only one part of a much bigger, less definable, global community of Christians who all do things differently.

I believe my responsibility is to live my life according to the truth I know. Not point the finger at those who I deem worthy of my judgement.

Don’t box me in.

Just sayin’