Tag Archives: faith

Checkpoint: Part two. Post Conference.

Posted in God, Life by

[Originally published 18th March 2014]

Last week I shared this post – part one of this checkpoint which is proving to be quite the turning point for me… 

There are some verses in Psalm 38 that reflect how I was feeling last week. Words like “my heart pounds, my strength fails me, even the light has gone from my eyes” (v10) described what life has often felt like in recent months. Prayers like v22-21, “Lord, don’t forsake me; don’t be far from me my God. Come quickly to help me, my Lord and my Saviour” were similar to what I carried on my heart as I arrived in Sydney for Colour Conference*.  

I can honestly say that there was definitely a specific agenda to my being in Sydney. After months of feeling ‘deactivated’, with no clarity, living with a posture in my spirit that could only be described as down-trodden, I heard words like “you will rise“, “you have permission“, “it is personal” and these three words that cut right to the core of me, “GET. BACK. UP.“

#woah.

I was also reminded that one of my strengths is how I pour myself into what I do and that’s OK – but – I need to guard my heart (Proverbs 4:23) and be mindful of what I’m pouring myself into. 

God could not have been more specific. 

So, what does that mean for me? Where to now? Naturally I returned home chewing on those questions and keen to debrief with a close friend and mentor. Which I did. (I love a good debrief!)

I believe now, that after a few months of rest and recovery, it’s clear the next big adventure is before me, and it’s time to get back up and go. Step one involves the launch of a new ministry organisation, “Access The Story” happening next Saturday, to which you are invited, and where you will find out more of the story and adventure ahead. 

My journey up to now hasn’t been easy, but it has shaped me, taught me and obviously led me to this point today, so in the end, I am grateful. 

I am grateful… 

… for the time I could spend in Sydney, with my awesome mum, in an atmosphere of encouragement, love, community and good teaching. 

… for the specific lessons, breaking the hold my past still had over me. 

… for the power in simply choosing to be grateful! (Go on, try it….) 

… for the sale the “Superdry” store had that meant I could come home with an awesome present for my husband, Darren. 😉 (Two hoodies for the price of one? Yes please!)

… for fresh revelation that through it all I am called to love relentlessly, just as I am loved first, because darkness trembles at a love like that. (And I wanna be the kind of person that makes darkness tremble…. Don’t you?) 

As usual, my weekend at Colour Conference did not disappoint, and I confess – I did buy a conference t-shirt… I will probably wear it twice and then promote it to the pajama’s drawer. #sawitcoming

J xx

I’m done defending God.

Posted in God by

[Originally published 5th October 2012]

Bet you’re wondering what the heck I’m on about. Am I crazy? Well, probably, but that’s not the point…

Recent life experiences have been showing me there are some elements to the missional lifestyle that need some tweaking. Some responsibilities are mine, some are not. Here are some thoughts…

1) I’m done defending God. He doesnt need me to fight a battle He’s already won. 

My idea of being a good witness involves knowing the truth (check!), believing it (check!), living accordingly (trying to!) and telling others about it (whenever I get the opportunity). But when I get a chance to talk about it, I will no longer jump on the defence (or worse, the attack) as if I have something to prove. God can and will do the proving for Himself.

“Sometimes the idea of mission seems like a gathering of an army to go and conquer something. It seems goal specific, like the default is about us achieving something for God. Gaining some kind of authority.” (Some thoughts from my friend and teacher, Tim Hein) 

But we’re not actually called to do something for God and establish His authority – He has plenty of that all by Himself. There’s a difference between those who bear witness to authority and those who carry it.

2) I’m done trying to impress people with my theological understanding. (Like I know that much anyway…)

When I was recently faced with the truth that one of my friends had a terrible time growing up, do you think I had some deep theological answer for them? Nope. I was speechless actually. I just wanted to cry and give them a big hug.

I’ve realised now that my ‘training’ was about shaping my heart, mind, character, & aligning my life with Gods purpose for me. It’s not about my spoken language. All too often I find that there are no words to say when someone shows you how deep their hurt goes, how broken they are. Instead I think about James 2:14-20 where it says “I will SHOW you my faith by my DEEDS.” (NLT, emphasis mine)

Note: It says deeds. Not bible college degree…

Deeds. Behaviour. Attitude. Lifestyle.

(Seems more action based than spoken word, no?)

3) I’m done telling God where He needs to go.

I wonder what God thinks when we rock up in someones life and say to Him, “Righto God, lets get to work!” I imagine him rolling his eyes and thinking, My dear beloved, bless your cotton socks, but do you not realise I love this person like I love you and have been here since the beginning of time?

Perhaps instead of trying to lead God and inviting Him to work with us, we need to get behind Him, and see what He is already doing in the hearts and minds of people. That is the message I am to carry, not one I create myself, expecting God to turn up and support whatever I’m doing. (How obnoxious!)

4) I’m done working in isolation.

A large part of my job involves me managing a project that sees 6 different teams, each operating on different Saturday nights, serving and helping all kinds of people in need on Hindley Street, Adelaide.

The individual teams may not know each other or cross paths much, but when we gathered all the team leaders recently, we heard so many stories about the same people each team were encountering and supporting from week to week. Amazing!

I sat back and thought to myself, what an incredible example of what it means to be a part of a mission that is bigger than just your individual activity. 

Isn’t that what the Church is meant to be? A global movement of believers, who by a seemingly unintentional system of seed planting, are in fact impacting the world through God, for God.

So…

I’m done defending God. He doesn’t need me fighting His already-won battle.

I’m done trying to make an impact with my words when our actions speak louder anyway.

I’m done trying to make God move somewhere when He just wants me to go where He already is.

I’m done working in isolation and I need to better represent the global movement I’m actually already a part of.

Instead, I will continue to dedicate this life to becoming the person I was created to be*, partnering with what God is already doing, bearing witness to a growing movement of  Christians awakening to what it means to BE the Church, not GO TO church.

Just saying.

J xo

(*I am so far from perfect, thought life was worthless, until You showed me who I am. Not here by mistake, no luck, only grace. I’m on my way to who I am. Not who I was. Not yet what I shall be. (Sample of lyrics from “I Am” – by Kirk Franklin)

Don’t box me in.

Posted in God by

[Originally published 20th December 2011]

I feel I should start with an admission… a confession.

At a younger age, I went through the “Hillsong-dream-phase”. I secretly wanted to be the next Darlene Zschech, a feeling that I admit contributed to me going to Bible College to study Music Ministry. But I grew up, I got over it, moved on, and don’t need to post inflammatory blogposts to vent about how it’s Hillsong’s fault that I once idolised Darlene.  If anyone is to blame for my Darlene-aspirations, it’s me. But I don’t think there’s much wrong with finding a role-model  in who was one of the best in the field I wanted to work in. Isn’t that just part of growing up? So that’s what I did – I grew up, realised there is more to ministry than writing the next big contemporary worship song, and more to church than four walls and flashy lights… and annual reports…

My friend Andrew recently posted a blog about the issue of Christian consumerism and the profit vs giving debate in mega-churches like Hillsong. A lot of what Andrew wrote is fair, and to give some context to what I’m about to write I encourage you to read it. However, since we are all entitled to our opinion, I’d like to respond. (Andrew is actually a personal friend of mine and we are not strangers to friendly debates over such matters. I am confident he will enjoy this… hehe)

I should start by saying that I don’t much care for the “Hillsong – profit vs giving” issue.

What I do care for is the assumption that we* are all like Hillsong, or want to be like them. Don’t box me in.

(*faith-filled Jesus freaks, aka the average Christian.)

I also care about the link between Christian consumerism and Jesus. Whatever is wrong with the “mega-church”, it’s not Christianity that is the problem. The heart of the Gospel is (as it has always been) about sacrificial love, the restoration of brokenness and the service of others. If this message has been warped or misunderstood along the way, it’s not Jesus’ fault. Humans are not perfect and sometimes we get it wrong. But just because some of us get it wrong, doesn’t meant we all do.

Don’t box me in.

On that point, while I often enjoy and appreciate the work of Banksy, I do find his image of Jesus offensive. Why? Because it’s not His fault. It falsely depicts that the cause of Christian consumerism to be rooted in Jesus and the cross. This is ridiculous. How can a man who willingly gave up his life, never owned much, didn’t search for fame, be at the heart of consumerism? #confusedface

I don’t believe that ‘in Churches, size matters’. In actual fact, size doesn’t matter at all. Furthermore, the ‘size’ of a ‘church’ is open to personal interpretation anyway. Big or small churches, what’s the difference? We’re all part of a global community of believers anyway – it’s up to you how you distinguish between the individual groups within the worldwide community. If you do that by dividing us into buildings with various signage that reads “Baptist”, “Lutheran”, “Uniting” or even “Pentecostal”, that’s your prerogative. I for one, don’t see the walls. I just see the people.

In a faith community this large, (I’m talking globally now) there’s bound to be differences when you break it down between the individual or smaller groups. But just because we all believe in the same God, please don’t assume we all aspire to be like the biggest, loudest, richest and best-dressed one of us. We don’t all aspire to be like Hillsong.

Don’t box me in.

I do, however, agree that the entire church should be the example of giving to the rest of the world. I also believe it should also be the example of love, acceptance, growth, truth, justice and everything else that Jesus lived and died for.

Dare I suggest that if you dared to dig a little deeper, or ask around, you will find a growing number of Christians that DON’T follow the Hillsong model, that care less for slick Sunday Services, great looking buildings and worship teams. I haven’t actually purchased a Hillsong album for a long time. The Christian faith DOES in fact thrive in people’s living rooms.

And it’s often these low-profile groups of believers that fund various works both locally and globally.

I can tell you about a gathering of hundreds of young Christians that regularly give of their time AND money to fund and participate in a project that protects, cares for, and celebrates teenagers in Adelaide. This same group of Christians are now responsible for an operation that aims to do the same thing in the heart of Adelaide’s city during peak night times on Saturdays.

This operation isn’t a “mega church”. But it is the church doing something pretty ‘mega’ in my eyes. The coolest part is that you won’t find this group of Christians in one particular building each Sunday. It’s scattered all over South Australia. It’s still church though… ‘cos “the church” is a movement of people. Not a building.

Don’t box me in.

There may be some problems with how mega churches do what they do, but they are only one part of a much bigger, less definable, global community of Christians who all do things differently.

I believe my responsibility is to live my life according to the truth I know. Not point the finger at those who I deem worthy of my judgement.

Don’t box me in.

Just sayin’